Spicing up the Game
by slavetothepen
Summary: Seamus, Dean and Neville come up with a way to make Quidditch more entertaining. Umbridge isn't pleased. Rated for language and slight SLASH


_Ok, here's my attempt at a one shot. It isn't brilliant, it doesn't have a riveting plot, it's just for giggles. This idea came to me a few days ago and I thought I should write it down. I will add a language warning as well as some slight slash (if you squint). Oh, and you guys know I don't own _Harry Potter_, right? Other wise, there'd be boys kissing in every scene teehee._

_Enjoy!  
_

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course I am, this will be brilliant."

"Yeah, until we get caught and expelled."

"Neville, if you're going to be a pansy, then you can leave."

Neville Longbottom shook his head, "No way, Seamus. You'll just tell everyone that I chickened out."

"Well technically you would have chickened out if you left."

"No one asked you Dean."

Dean Thomas laughed, "I didn't realize it was a question."

Seamus rolled his eyes, "Come on, the game's already started!"

Neville followed Seamus quietly, already regretting immediately with going along with Seamus' harebrained plan. This could only end up bad in his mind. At best they would get detention, at worst they would be expelled, and for what? Some cheap thrills?

A hand rested on Neville's shoulder. The timid Gryffindor looked over at Dean, who gave him a reassuring smile, "Don't over think it so much Neville, just imagine the look on everyone's faces."

"Yeah!" Seamus added, "Especially Umbridge! I hope she has a heart attack!"

Neville groaned, "That's the one face I don't want to imagine."

"Is that including your grams?" Seamus replied cheekily.

Dean laughed, "No Seamus, that's including your mom."

"Come on you guys, if you still want to do this, we better get to the pitch." Both Dean and Seamus nodded to Neville as they walked down to the Quidditch pitch.

* * *

The first Quidditch game of the season was well underway. Tensions were always high for the first game, with the school's most fierce competitors dueling it out on their brooms.

Neville watched the game from behind the stands, where the three boys were hiding.

"You still in Neville?" Dean asked, peering out at the game.

Neville gulped, "You would never let me live it down if I backed out now."

"Too right you are Neville!" Seamus snickered, pulling on a mask that looked suspiciously like Luna's Gryffindor lionhead.

Dean furrowed his brow, "Why do you get to be the lion?"

"Because I'm the bravest that's why!"

"No way!"

"Guys," Dean and Seamus looked at Neville, "Does it really matter who wears what mask?"

Seamus grinned, "In that case you get to be the ravenhead!" The irish boy laughed as he tossed Neville the bird-like head.

"Wait a minute, that makes me the snake!" Dean argued, picking up the last mask.

"Come on Dean, like Neville said, it doesn't matter who wears what mask." Seamus snickered at his dark skinned friend.

"Says the guy who gets to wear the lionhead."

"GUYS! Shut up!" Neville rolled his eyes, annoyed that even though he was the most reluctant one to go through with this trainwreck of an idea, he was also the only one who was focused enough to actually see it through. "If we keep bickering, Harry will catch the snitch before we can even get out there."

After a moment, Seamus and Dean nodded.

"Let's go."

* * *

Harry had never played such a hard game of Quidditch in his life. His legs were sore from gripping his broom tight enough for him not to fall off in case he needed to do a barrel roll. His knuckles were white from his deathgrip on said broom. Sweat was pouring down his face and dampening his uniform, making it cold and uncomfortable.

The game sure wasn't going the way he was hoping. It seemed like every other minute a Bludger was sent flying his way by the Slytherin beaters. Luckily, Fred and George were able to keep them at bay, but they couldn't stop the other players from 'accidently' bumping or nearly colliding with him. He still hadn't managed to even spot the Snitch and Griffindor was trailing by 40 points.

"Oi Potter!"

And to top it all off, Malfoy was being extra obnoxious today.

"I guess today just isn't Gryffindor's day is it Potter?" The blonde laughed. Somehow Draco's aerodynamic hair had managed to survive the high speeds of the Quidditch game. Harry secretly thought that the Slytherin boy was actually bald and instead wore a blonde helmet.

"Potter, listen to me when I'm mocking you."

Like hell he was going to do that. Harry had more important things to do…like find that damn Snitch.

Harry scoured the pitch with his green eyes, looking for the tiny golden ball. Unfortunately, it wasn't the Snitch he saw below him.

"What the hell?" Harry rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't having some demented vision. When he looked again, Harry was sure of it.

There were three boys running across the Quidditch pitch.

Stark naked.

_I thought streaking was a Muggle thing…_

Beside him, Malfoy finally noticed the streakers, "What the blazes is going on! How vulgar!"

Harry rolled his eyes at the stuck up Slytherin. "Prat."

By now, the game had slowed to a complete stop, even the Chaser with the Quaffle had frozen in midair, as the entire pitch watched the scene on the ground. The three boys wore masks that oddly resembled three of the four house mascots, and they were running around the entire pitch, causing screams and squeals from many of the girls and whoops and hollers form many of the boys.

Harry rolled his eyes, not phased by the naked boys. He had spent too long in his dormitory to not know whose nude bodies those were. For one, Dean was too much of a minority at Hogwarts for him not to be easily identified, and wherever there was Dean, there was Seamus, who was probably the one doing cartwheels and prancing.

What surprised Harry was the fact that the third boy, unless he was mistaken, was Neville. The timid Gryffindor (who probably wasn't so timid anymore) wasn't doing nearly as much as Seamus was, but he was waving his arms to get the crowd to cheer. Now it could have easily been another boy running around, but Neville was distinctly round, which included his bum.

_Well that didn't sound gay or anything…_ By now, Harry had lost interest, and decided to go back to finding the Snitch.

* * *

"Run faster!"

"I know if I can run any faster!"

"Well you better learn! Here comes Umbridge!"

"Shit!"

The toadlike ministry woman was waddling as fast as her short, stumpy legs could take her, "Stop this instant, you hooligans!"

Dean laughed, "Fat chance!"

Neville was almost a nervous wreck, "Shit!"

"Whoa, I didn't know Neville swore…" Seamus laughed, doing another cartwheel. "But really guys, do you really think that the toad is going to be able to catch up with-"

"_STUPIFY!"_ The red missile was a near miss, but it was still too close to the very exposed boys.

"Crap!" Dean ducked from the wayward spell, "Come on, we need to run faster!"

What started as a simple event of streaking became a full blown circus, staring Dean, Seamus and Neville desperately trying to avoid Umbridge's angry spells. After only 15 minutes, the stout woman keeled over from exhaustion. The entire stadium was laughing so hard that no one had noticed that Harry had caught the Snitch for an entire half hour.

* * *

"I can't believe I let you two talk me into that." Neville moaned as the three made their way to the Great Hall after their detention. Dean and Seamus were still laughing.

"Oh come off it Neville, we saw how much you were enjoying yourself!" Seamus grinned.

Dean smiled, "Yeah Neville, you sure know how to get those Hufflepuffs excited."

Neville blushed, "Well I wasn't the one doing the cartwheels _Seamus_."

The Irish Gryffindor laughed, "Did you see Umbridge's face when she keeled over? I thought for sure she was going to be shipped off to St. Mungo's permanently!"

The three streakers walked into the Great Hall, hoping for some dinner before going to bed. What they weren't expecting was the entire Gryffindor table to burst out in applause. If it were possible, Neville turned redder.

Ron clapped Seamus on the shoulder as the three boys sat down, "Brilliant show there! Brilliant!"

Dean chuckled, "How did you know it was us?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "Well Dean, you don't exactly blend in." The bespectacled wizard nodded to Dean's skintone.

"Oh…" If it were possible, Dean blushed.

Ron just continued to laugh, "I got to hand it to you Neville, I didn't think you had it in you!"

Neville shoved a piece of toast in his mouth before he could say anything.

"But not only did you do something that gusty, you got rid of Umbridge for a month!" The redhead grinned, "That's killing two flobberworms with one spell."

"Even though now Blaise Zabini always looks like he wants to molest Seamus." Harry muttered. The group of boys stared at the green eyed wizard.

Finally, Seamus turned to look at the Slytherin table.

"Really?" He asked hopefully.

* * *

_Teeheehee, I'm sorry. This idea has just been in my head for days and I just _had_ to write it down_._ Tell me what you think! Reviews are my crack!_

_slavetothepen  
_


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